Monday, July 19, 2010

Stressed out!

Stress....the story of my life. These days seem to be more so than others. I suppose it is my own fault. I have something going on every weekend. People ask me to do something and I just can't say no. I try to please everyone....even over myself. I think it is all starting to take a toll on me. I have a six month old, a nine year old and a husband that has been very neglected for a few months now. I work full time, what few things I'm allowed to do for my sister's wedding I'm trying to make perfect, try and be the worlds best all my friends, i want to be there for my family and trying to make sure my nephew doesn't forget who I am. My house looks like crap most of the time. I work till 5, come home, feed the baby, make dinner for the family, do dishes and clean the kitchen, give the baby a bath, bottle and get to sleep, maybe do a load of laundry and if I'm lucky I can sit down and watch a little tv before 10. Notice that housework didn't fit into my normal day. I feel added pressure put on me being a mom of two and still trying to clean house and spend time with the hubby. I'm not super woman...I had to turn in my cape because I wasn't living up to the expectations. I know I should cut myself some slack but it's just not my style.
My list I made a few weeks ago....haven't done anything on it. No surprise I guess. I know I'm probably harder on myself than anyone but I don't like it. I think I have forgotten how to just relax. I am sleep deprived....I did catch up a little bit this weekend, took naps with Blake. I just need to take a deep breath and think about what is the most important to me and go from there. I would rather spend time with my boys (hubby included) then have a clean house, but why can't I have both. I need to be independently wealthy so I can stay home and be the super mom/wife/friend/sister/cousin/niece/daughter that I think I am in my mind. Then maybe they will give me my cape back and I can carry on being the super woman everyone thinks I am.

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