Monday, October 11, 2010
Thirty Day Challenge-Day 4
Something you have to forgive someone else for I find these challenges to get progressively harder. I have to look at my life and all the imperfections that I thought I have dealt with...any maybe you really never do. Something I have to forgive someone else for....that can be an open ended question. It can be as simple as a friend that has hurt you, an old boyfriend...a sister that might have caused you pain...or worse...it could be a parent. My real father has never really been there for me, ever. I never put a whole lot of thought as to why until I became a parent myself. I can't imagine never wanting to talk to my kids or having them in my life. I'm sure he has his reasons, but I can't imagine them being good ones. He has been in my life sporadically. A year hear and there. Recently (for some reason unknown to me) my step-mom is pissed at me and so all communication has pretty much stopped. With the birth of my last child my father mailed me a card....an effin card. I just gave the miracle of life and you can't pick up the phone...really! But, his lack of being a good father I some what came to terms with before I got married. I invited him and his wife (let me mention we have always been on good terms) to the wedding but I wanted it to be clear that he wasn't going to walk me down the aisle. A week or so later, I received a card and a check for $1000 and a note saying it was better for them to send money then to come. And that reason, on top of a million others, is why I decided (the day I got engaged) that my step-father was going to walk me down the aisle. The man that has been there no matter what and loves me to know end. So, to my birth father: I forgive you for being a shitty dad, I see why your other kids choose not to talk to you, sorry I had faith in you and gave you time. I have a happy life and I do have a dad, he might not have known me from birth, but I know he sure wishes he had.