Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Fat Tuesday...and another guest post

I'm not even sure how it happened, but I lost 2 pounds!  I weighed myself first thing this morning.  Unfortunately with the way things are at work lately, I was so stressed out I didn't even get a chance to be excited about it.  But 2 pounds, yay!!  I'm starting to get squishy again and need to fix that.  I have good intentions while I'm at work but...when you come home to a husband, a 18 month old, a 10 year old and an 18 year old, you don't always get to do what you want.  I know if I just started eating better it would make a big difference, it worked before.
And now it is time for the third installment of my guest blogger.  Also, she has a new blog.  She hasn't posted yet, but be on the look out!  True Confessions of a Skinni Cow

Seeing is Believing… 
Do you ever look in the mirror and just not see yourself?  I honestly thought that it was just me or maybe only overweight people, but the more people I talk to the more I realize everyone has their moments when they just don’t want to see themselves.  Until recently, however, I didn’t notice that was the case for me. Now looking back it so obvious that as much as I disparaged the various squishy, icky parts of myself,  my gaze never took in the whole me.  Maybe it was a defense mechanism to keep me from being depressed by a rather lardy me, but it also kept me from seeing the new me that was trying to get out. It was actually Jessie who made me take a good hard look at myself and see the changes that all this hard work had done to my body and my health.  Before that, I still only saw a generic version of fat me… losing 20, 30, 40 lbs was all great, and trust me I was seriously happy, but it was so difficult to wrap my mind around the amount of change that had made. 
We went dress shopping for Easter (it was one of my mini goals) and I said, in my then-usual negative way that I thought the size she thought I could wear was being being ‘too ambitious”.  She didn’t give up, though and I tried on not only the size she said, but 2 other smaller sizes (really, clothing manufactures, some consistency would be fabulous). 
Oh, my, God.  This was the first time I cried in the dressing room for a GOOD REASON.  I may have even hugged Jessie, and I’m not a huggy kind of girl.  Unfortunately, once you start looking in the mirror, it’s hard to stop, lol.  I find myself glancing every time I pass one, just to see if anything has changed today.  And she must be going crazy because it’s all I want to talk about these days… what I’m eating, the gym, crunches, ect.  So I want to say a huge THANK YOU for being my biggest supporter and most amazing cheerleader to Jessica.  You really can’t change yourself with out a TON of support, friendship (& the occasional reality check!) of a really great friend.  You’re certainly not getting it from the skinny mean girls!!!  That’s a topic for another day

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