It just hit me

Yesterday Devon, my 10 year old, was left home alone for the first time. His sister left the house at 4 and i called him at 4:30 and 5. I was probably more stressed about it then him. I text Alexys and said "you have only been gone an hour and I've already checked on him twice". She laughed at me and I responded with "damn you kids for growing up". And she said "at least you still have Blake". I didn't respond. That comment didn't feel right. As I was driving home it hit me.

I'm an emotional person, I know this and have accepted this. I cry watching the biggest loser because I get so happy for them when they lose 5 pounds and tell their sad story.

So, like I said, it hit me. Like out of no where I started sobbing. I was even like "WTF is wrong with me".

Alexys will be 18 this summer and then she will possibly move out the next summer after high school. She has grown up before my eyes. I met her when she was 6.

Devon is staying home now by himself. In a year and a half he will be in middle school.

I remember when I was younger time seemed to drag. You couldn't wait for school to be over and then the summers flew by. I felt like I was in school forever! Why is it when you are a parent the time always flies by? I feel like just the other day I was giving birth to Blake and he will be a year next Saturday.

I'm proud of all my kids and their accomplishments, don't get me wrong. But I also miss when they were little and liked to be cuddled. I will admit, Devon is still young enough that he likes to snuggle when he is sleepy. Alexys and I send random sweet texts to one another saying how greatful we are for one another. And Blake is just a baby....and I soak that up as much as I can.