Monday, March 7, 2011

"The dinner"

So, remember the other day when I posted about admitting I was scared?
Well, Alexys had dinner with her mom Wednesday night. First time they have talked or seen each other in 7 months.
I was worried that Alexys was possible going to get hurt again or that our relationship would change. For the past 7 months I have been her only motherly figure. As hard as it is, I love it. Don't get me wrong I want her to have a relationship with her mother but she causes a problem with how I parent. And seeing how Alexys lives in my house...I feel she should live by my rules (which Alexys agrees with).
They had dinner, even went for ice cream. Alexys said it went well but was...weird. She knows they are never close but she wasn't really looking for that. She said something about not needing her to be a "motherly figure" because that is what she has me for!
That's when it hit me!
No matter what happens between Alexys and her mother it will never change the relationship we share together. I by no means am saying that I am a better mother. But we do "mother" differently.
Her mother is very controlling but also tries to be her friend. While I like to have a little control, she's also 17 and needs to start getting prepared for the real world. I'm also more of an affectionate person. I tell all my kids I love them before they go to bed. I like hugs. While I know Alexys hasn't been use to this day to day since she's only lived with us 7 months out of her life, I think she likes it. She always tells me she loves me back. Once a week or so I even get a hug squeezed out of her. She makes posts from time to time saying I'm a great mom...she doesn't realize how important that is.
My boys have loved me from the beginning...I'm their birth mom. But Alexys, I had to earn that love. When she introduces me to her friends as "my mom"....I honestly get teary eyed.
I love that girl!


  1. It sounds like you two have a great relationship, and you don't have much to worry about with the mother. She may yet hurt Alexys, but she's got you there to assure her she's a part of your life. That's awesome! :)

  2. I am so happy for you! I agree, it sounds like you guys have an awesome relationship regardless of whether you're her "real mother" or not.

  3. That is awesome Jessie. You are a really great Mom. It is hard to parent step-children and it is so rewarding when the time comes when you become "Mom" through their eyes.