Fat Tuesday...and another guest post

I'm not even sure how it happened, but I lost 2 pounds!  I weighed myself first thing this morning.  Unfortunately with the way things are at work lately, I was so stressed out I didn't even get a chance to be excited about it.  But 2 pounds, yay!!  I'm starting to get squishy again and need to fix that.  I have good intentions while I'm at work but...when you come home to a husband, a 18 month old, a 10 year old and an 18 year old, you don't always get to do what you want.  I know if I just started eating better it would make a big difference, it worked before.

And now it is time for the third installment of my guest blogger.  Also, she has a new blog.  She hasn't posted yet, but be on the look out!  True Confessions of a Skinni Cow

Seeing is Believing… 

Do you ever look in the mirror and just not see yourself?  I honestly thought that it was just me or maybe only overweight people, but the more people I talk to the more I realize everyone has their moments when they just don’t want to see themselves.  Until recently, however, I didn’t notice that was the case for me. Now looking back it so obvious that as much as I disparaged the various squishy, icky parts of myself,  my gaze never took in the whole me.  Maybe it was a defense mechanism to keep me from being depressed by a rather lardy me, but it also kept me from seeing the new me that was trying to get out. It was actually Jessie who made me take a good hard look at myself and see the changes that all this hard work had done to my body and my health.  Before that, I still only saw a generic version of fat me… losing 20, 30, 40 lbs was all great, and trust me I was seriously happy, but it was so difficult to wrap my mind around the amount of change that had made. 

We went dress shopping for Easter (it was one of my mini goals) and I said, in my then-usual negative way that I thought the size she thought I could wear was being being ‘too ambitious”.  She didn’t give up, though and I tried on not only the size she said, but 2 other smaller sizes (really, clothing manufactures, some consistency would be fabulous). 

THEY FIT!!!!

Oh, my, God.  This was the first time I cried in the dressing room for a GOOD REASON.  I may have even hugged Jessie, and I’m not a huggy kind of girl.  Unfortunately, once you start looking in the mirror, it’s hard to stop, lol.  I find myself glancing every time I pass one, just to see if anything has changed today.  And she must be going crazy because it’s all I want to talk about these days… what I’m eating, the gym, crunches, ect.  So I want to say a huge THANK YOU for being my biggest supporter and most amazing cheerleader to Jessica.  You really can’t change yourself with out a TON of support, friendship (& the occasional reality check!) of a really great friend.  You’re certainly not getting it from the skinny mean girls!!!  That’s a topic for another day

Fat Tuesday...guest post part 2



I am beginning to hate Tuesday.  I dread weighing in.  I eat crap and I know it.  I don't have time to exercise unless I want to give up sleep and I get so little of that already that wouldn't be smart.  I gained 1.6 pounds this week.  I sit here shaking my head as I type this.  If we could have a world with out bread I think I would be ok.

Here is another awesome installment and guest post from Beauty Sale Shopper about her amazing weight-loss.

Don't tell anyone....

That was my philosophy for the first 2-4 weeks on weight watchers.  So they saw me eating better.  It's not like this is the first time I'd tried to diet, right?  I was completely paranoid that if anyone figured out that I was serious this time they would be discouraging or try to sabotage my efforts.  Seriously, I knew the that the least bit of negativity would completely ruin it for me.  Feelings were hurt during this time period.  I had to decline lunch invites and not eat mom's cooking without explanation.  My biggest concern was a (now ex!!) boyfriend and his snotty know-it-all attitude.  For some reason, I did talk to him about it and you know what?  Everything I was doing was so wrong, according to him.  Hmmm, really?  Let me tell you what I was doing and what my results were and you can figure out just how much he knew.  Everyday I spent at least one hour at the gym, not including walking there and back.  Also, sticking to the weight watchers plan religiously and losing IN THE FIRST 4 WEEKS....13.8 POUNDS!!!

Now I know the first two entries on my guest post were pretty negative, but that's how it was the first month of this.  When friends started noticing and when my family saw that I was beyond serious this time they did something that I SHOULD HAVE expected, but DIDN'T.  THEY SUPPORTED ME.  Considering the journey I'd just begun...I was going to need it.

Until next weeks installment....

Fat Tuesday...and a Guest post

Ok, so I gained a little.  What do you do?  I eat crap and don't exercise.  I'm not surprised.  I only gained .6 but still, I gained.  I always have good intentions of eating right and exercising but...I don't really have an excuse to not do it.  So until next week....I'll leave you with my guest posting..

My personal friend, April aka Beauty Sale Shopper, has lost ALOT of weight to date.  She looks like a different person.  If you check out her blog...you will see that she doesn't really blog anymore.  I have been trying to convince her to turn it into a weight loss blog.  She is truly motivational!  I will try and convince her to let me post a picture when this series is over.  Anyways, I asked her if she would do a guest post about her weight loss journey.  She said yes and began writing....and realized she had a lot to say.  So we will break it up.

It all started on Valentine's Day.  Due to my (then) boyfriend's crazy work schedule, it being a school night (how romantic can a Monday be, really?) and probably a bunch of hormone-related chick stuff.  I was totally miserable.  Time to torture myself, so I step on the scale and freeze.  OH. MY. GOD!!!  Being too shocked, devastated really, to do anything else, I go straight to my bed where I cry my eyes out for several hours.  How did I let myself become this bloated, disgusting cow?!  After staring at myself and my bulges/rolls/dimples/multiple chins for awhile, I borrow my mom's laptop and spend the next hour and a half researching diet pills, surgeries, ect.  That's when I landed on Weight Watchers online.  I could do it, they didn't make you eat specific foods (I'm a very picky eater) and if I did it online no one could look at me.  I would be in control.  Did I deserve to be in control?  Not with the way I had treated myself before, but I had motivation, the money and no desire to be this disturbing blob of ickiness forever.

Over the next few days, and with the help of the Weight Watcher website, I set some short and long term goals for myself.

short-term

lose 25 pounds

lose 50 pounds

lose 75 pounds

size 12

size 8

shopping @ a non-fat lady store

new swimsuit

walk up thei stairs without hurting

long-term

lose 115 pounds

To Be Continued next Tuesday.....

Why I do it

Remember last Friday? I did a guest post for Jaci over at Ravings of a Mad Housewife, you can read it here. I was SO excited. My first guest post. Jaci posted it early Friday morning. By Saturday, I regretted doing it. I felt attacked, like I needed to defend my husband. I know in my post i vented about my hubby, but I thought it was done in a "funny" way. Since then, I haven't felt like blogging.

Until today! Jaci sent me a sweet email! She pointed out that normal sane people see the humor in things but once you get one negative comment...others follow. Also, Jaci has decided to take a brake from her blog. I am sad about this but totally understand why, read here. She also refers to how we give people just a glimpse of our life so they can totally judge everything that we are.

I was scared to blog after my guest post. I don't want people to feel sorry for me. I don't want people to think I have a bad husband. I think it is safe to say that we have all done at least ONE post "in the moment".

I then remembered why I started blogging. I never thought that anyone would actually follow me, especially people that didn't know me. I started my blog to get "stuff" out of my head. Then I started following craft blogs and decorating ones. So I started adding photos of crafts or decorating rooms. My blog is ever changing. It's whatever I want it to be that day or even that post. IT'S MY BLOG! I'll do what I want and I shouldn't be worried about what others think, right? If you don't like it, you can just delete me and I'll carry on.

I wish everyone a wonderful Tuesday! Enjoy your day, your children, your husband...and yes, even your blog.

btw...Jaci, your email made my day.

Guest Posting!!!!

I did a guest post today! My girl Jaci, over at Ravings of a Mad housewife asked for guest posters on Friday....and I jumped at the opportunity! Check out her blog, I think it is pretty awesome!